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Small Victory


As the legal representation for Mr. Bracelet it is my duty, and of course great honor, to announce he has achieved a minor victory in his continuing negotiations for future home decor.

As many of you know, Elizabeth has been very strict in her requirements for their new home. She has an artist's eye (As well as both elbows and the third knuckle on her left hand) and very specific likes and dislikes. As an example, Elizabeth and Mr. Bracelet both enjoy style, however Mr. Bracelet would be quick to sacrifice style for more function and Elizabeth won't is less apt to do this.

Which is why Mr. Bracelet has gleefully informed me from the comfort of his green leather recliner that Elizabeth has agreed to allow some of the furniture currently in his bedroom, to be utilized in the future home's second bedroom.

This has pleased Mr. Bracelet greatly. He was prepared to take legal action, but this new development has moved him to gladly call off the dogs.

Mr. Bracelet is very excited that his Uhaul will now include more than just his bed and his clothes.

This exciting news has kept Mr. Bracelet in a state of GLRDE or Green Leather Recliner Drunken Euphoria.

He would also like me to point out that she has agreed to this as a way to outfit the second bedroom with furniture while new stuff is eventually sought.

Mr. Bracelet is convinced this will lead to more victories, such as a Man Cave, a dedicated St. Pauli Girl Poster wall, and a room that has a trampoline for a floor.

Thanks for your time.

Mr. Bracelet's Legal Team
  1. Joe Speaker

    May 27, 2008 at 12:07 PM

    That right there is what politicians might call a slippery slope.

    I sense neon beer signs (used un-ironically) are next.

  1. elizabeth

    May 28, 2008 at 1:36 AM

    for the record, i would like to clarify that the least offensive of the furniture may be temporarily used in the new home, with the stipulation that if, upon further inspection, it does not offend me, will be useed until such time as it is possible to replace it with stuff that is actually cool.

    if, however, it is deemed offensive, it will be discarded immediately.

    thanks. that is all.

  1. The Bracelet

    May 28, 2008 at 6:56 AM

    Exactly what my lawyers said!

    Besides, they match the neon Allagash sign I picked up beautifully.

  1. Anonymous

    May 29, 2008 at 2:53 PM

    You're screwed Bracelet! Check your nuts at the door because the game is over. I was in the same place you are about a year ago. I wouldn't change anything if given the chance because I love my girl but life as you knew it is over.

  1. The Wife

    June 1, 2008 at 3:49 AM

    Mr. Bracelet's legal team should have informed him of the small print, which clearly indicates that the small concession of the furniture for the second is merely a decoy to make him feel comfortable and will be used for the rest of his god-given life as a reminder of how flexible his lady is (and I don't blame her).

    Don't count your man caves until they are hatched.