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My prediction about the foreshadowing


If he thinks he's got foreshadowing from that little scenario, then I am certain I have a clear picture based on the actual events that occurred.

Here is where he is correct:

"It was early. Like, really early. Elizabeth was sleeping soundly...
I wake up early and can't fall back asleep. She's sleeping so I turn Sportscenter on"

And that is where the accuracy falters. And by falter, I mean that accuracy falls off of a cliff steep enough to break its pelvis and be confined to a wheelchair. That wheelchair should roll over his junk for the complete lies that follow.

The volume was loud enough to invade my peaceful dreams, where I was then harassed by silly sports jargon. Why do sports announcers have to be so annoying and ridiculously excited about moments in a game they've already seen? In fact, I submit that putting on Sportscenter at a volume that is barely audible isn't possible, because there is constantly screaming over all of the awesome dunking, scoring, goal-making excitement!!!

When I finally did wake up, it was not in the happiest of moods. I am not a morning person by nature. I do not like waking up, nor do I do it smoothly. Never have. Bob has seen me happy in the mornings, because up to this point, he has been smart enough to wake me up properly. There are two choices when waking me up, especially early in the morning. One of them is coffee in hand and the other shouldn't need to be explained. He chose neither. So I was cranky? Hmmmm well, Einstein, perhaps you should have turned off the tv long enough to actually enjoy the fact that there was a living, breathing woman lying next to you. kthankssomuch.

As for saying something before I went to dry my hair...I had just gotten out of the shower, came back into the room where the tv was still droning on about the same crap it had been droning on about since before dawn, and yes, I voiced my unhappiness...not even aggressively, then went to dry my hair, in hopes that he would take my unhappiness into consideration by the time I got back. I hadn't even had coffee yet, fortheloveofallthatisgoodonthisforsakenplanet!!!

So, you want foreshadowing? How's this for a pretty picture: Sports fan of the year, having failed in his petition for a hideous green leather recliner, shoved into the couch cushions, surrounded by empty beer bottles as he rubs his man boobs, and rests his snack of meat and cheese in a bowl atop his growing belly.

Sexy.
  1. The Wife

    May 13, 2008 at 4:46 PM

    Yup. Two sides to every story.

    You forgot "reaches down into his stretched out, not so white briefs, and scratches his junk" -

    Or so I've heard.

  1. Uncle Bracelet

    May 13, 2008 at 5:09 PM

    It actually reaches up to me. I don't have to move my arms if I don't want to.

    And once again, I've been made out to be the one with the perception problems.

    Interesting, considering you ONLY HAD ONE EYE THAT WORKED!!!

    I rest my case, your honor.

  1. The Wife

    May 13, 2008 at 5:59 PM

    If its any consolation, Bracelet . . . I realize as a wife (not even just a committed partner) that I, too, get irritated with all sorts of things you men do. And when I do, I nag, too. Even if it makes no sense. Like the blow dryer thing. Who cares if I can't hear it with the blow dryer on? Its the principle of the thing.

    I think its the trade off that you don't have to bear children. Our god-given right to complain.

    Just remember, perception is everything. Translated, means "she's usually right".

    Best of luck to you both.

    And nice to know you don't have to reach down . . . you're a fortunate individual. I'm sure it looks much more attractive when you scratch it that way . . .

  1. The Wife

    May 13, 2008 at 5:59 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.