If he thinks he's got foreshadowing from that little scenario, then I am certain I have a clear picture based on the actual events that occurred.

Here is where he is correct:

"It was early. Like, really early. Elizabeth was sleeping soundly...
I wake up early and can't fall back asleep. She's sleeping so I turn Sportscenter on"

And that is where the accuracy falters. And by falter, I mean that accuracy falls off of a cliff steep enough to break its pelvis and be confined to a wheelchair. That wheelchair should roll over his junk for the complete lies that follow.

The volume was loud enough to invade my peaceful dreams, where I was then harassed by silly sports jargon. Why do sports announcers have to be so annoying and ridiculously excited about moments in a game they've already seen? In fact, I submit that putting on Sportscenter at a volume that is barely audible isn't possible, because there is constantly screaming over all of the awesome dunking, scoring, goal-making excitement!!!

When I finally did wake up, it was not in the happiest of moods. I am not a morning person by nature. I do not like waking up, nor do I do it smoothly. Never have. Bob has seen me happy in the mornings, because up to this point, he has been smart enough to wake me up properly. There are two choices when waking me up, especially early in the morning. One of them is coffee in hand and the other shouldn't need to be explained. He chose neither. So I was cranky? Hmmmm well, Einstein, perhaps you should have turned off the tv long enough to actually enjoy the fact that there was a living, breathing woman lying next to you. kthankssomuch.

As for saying something before I went to dry my hair...I had just gotten out of the shower, came back into the room where the tv was still droning on about the same crap it had been droning on about since before dawn, and yes, I voiced my unhappiness...not even aggressively, then went to dry my hair, in hopes that he would take my unhappiness into consideration by the time I got back. I hadn't even had coffee yet, fortheloveofallthatisgoodonthisforsakenplanet!!!

So, you want foreshadowing? How's this for a pretty picture: Sports fan of the year, having failed in his petition for a hideous green leather recliner, shoved into the couch cushions, surrounded by empty beer bottles as he rubs his man boobs, and rests his snack of meat and cheese in a bowl atop his growing belly.

Sexy.

Caught a glimpse of the possible future Braceletmore household this weekend, and let me tell ya...

SCARY!

Let's start with a quick bit of background before I explain the situation that had me a little scared of a year from now.

She's a girl and hates sports. This is because she isn't a lesbian. Coincidentally, I like that about her, though it wouldn't hurt to dyke out with some hot chicks in front of me now would it?

Anyhow, I am an above average sports fan. I don't paint my face (Unless it's for tribal reasons, because my Comanche Indian heritage is important to me) or scream at the television during an early season matchup with no real playoff implications. But I do have a strong desire to see my favorite teams play important games, follow the comings and goings of all the major sports (And this doesn't include Nascar because driving in circles is only slightly more retarded than watching people drive in circles while wearing the same jacket), and need to know scores and the who what where's of the game.

So, we spent some time in the new city this weekend. She had some family obligations and I was essentially tagging along. I was more than happy to, what with the ridiculously awesome nieces she has, and everything was going great. We even looked at a few places to live, her narrowing it down to the one I figured she would. Life was grand. A little crippled boy got up out of his wheelchair and walked for the first time. A young woman came out of her coma. The Bracelet took a satisfying dump.

Then the following morning jumped up and kicked the little boy in the nuts, punched the little girl in the face, and gave the Bracelet a little bit of foreshadowing.

It was early. Like, really early. Elizabeth was sleeping soundly, which she is prone to do around me. Seriously. She's a night owl by herself but get her around me and she's eating the early bird special and falling asleep before Matlock.

I wake up early and can't fall back asleep. She's sleeping so I turn Sportscenter on and keep the volume flirting with inaudible. She moves around a little, but mostly maintains the soundness of her sleep.

After a half hour of this I decide to go shower. I turn the volume down to almost nothing (lower than the sound of the air conditioning) and when I get back she's still sleeping. I tell her it's about time to get up and she notes that I'm watching sportscenter like when she woke briefly earlier. Yep, still hoping to see the highlights and score of the Pistons game. It's an hour show, but with my showering and such I missed half the show.

She gets up to go shower and get ready. I continue to watch. She walks out from the bathroom and complains that I'm still watching it and she's been "hearing it all morning" and doesn't want to have to continue listening to it.

I'm still flummoxed by that statement (Because she was mostly sleeping) when she walks back to the bathroom to blow dry her hair.

BLOW DRY HER HAIR!

SHE'S NOT EVEN GOING TO BE IN THE ROOM BUT I NEED TO TURN THE CHANNEL!!!

I ask you, how is she able to listen to the television while sleeping or blow drying her hair in another room?

I'm not going to lie to you.

This is a little disconcerting.

I was counting on her down time (sleep, bathroom, coma) for catching up on all the stuff she outlaws. Now, if she's going to be able to be annoyed by this even when she's sleeping, showering, and coma-ing I don't know what to do.

Am I in over my head?