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Two Bathrooms


Many of you have given us your recipe for successful cohabitation. From making sure there is a separate room to disappear in if necessary (having your own space) to making sure there are two bathrooms all the way to avoiding living together at all fucking cost, we've heard it all.

Thanks for the tips.

Personally (And um, such as) I believe the two bathroom thing is the most important. I will never, and I repeat NEVER, be the guy who invites people in for a discussion while he's negotiating the release of some chocolate hostages. EVER! Nor will I be the one who gets invited in while his significant other is doing the same thing so they can have a conversation about, well, whatever it is people who talk to each other while one is dropping deuce would talk about.

Now I know some of you are out there thinking that it's just a matter of time before it happens. Then, once the flood gates are open it'll happen all the time. Well, let me be the first to say No Fucking Way!

Many of my neuroses might be (Read: most certainly are) ridiculous, but a few of them are so solidly ingrained in my headball (Medical term) that there will never be a change in how I think.

To name a few things that will never change:

Pooping while in the same bathroom as anyone
Hating mustard
Hating people
Never forgiving Twix for changing the cookie in their Peanut Butter Twix
Never forgiving KitKat for doing away with the foil in lieu of shrink wrap
Midgets
Left handed people
Swedes

Alright, so the list got away from me. Get off my nuts. You get the basic idea and that's what counts.

One of the nicest things about this new joint is the master bath is as far from the living room and kitchen as is physically possible. Which means I don't have to sit in there wondering if everyone can hear me. The bathroom to guests distancing in this place is wonderfully designed.

There is one minor issue that will need some looking into. The doors are sliding track doors so there isn't a lock on them. I'll have to figure out a way to design a locking mechanism.

To do this I'll be spending a few hours catching up on my DVR'd McGuyver episodes. He's gotta have some ingenious rigging mechanism I can duplicate.

We reserved a truck with Penske last night. It was almost a couple hundred dollars cheaper than Uhaul for the same size. Plus, and I don't know why I feel this way, for some reason it makes me a little happier inside knowing that I didn't use Uhaul.

Looks like we'll end up driving halfway and shacking up for the night before making the second half the trip in the morning. This way we can arrive at a decent time for people to help us unpack and we don't have to sit in a moving truck for 11 hours straight. Elizabeth hates long car rides and I will be doing all the driving, so this plan sounds good to me.

Ever look for pet-friendly hotels? Fucking ripoffs. One place wanted $75 for a non-refundable pet charge. Most pets are more civilized and clean than your average loser U.S. American is (and also, such as, thee Iraq) and often they're more quite. Looks like I found one for a ten dollar fee that will work just fine.

Lastly, what do you do with a private 22x23ft terrace? Besides have wild outdoor monkey sex, I mean. Like, what do you put out there besides a grill and table with chairs to utilize the space?

Feel free to give us ideas, call me a fag, or ask me for a link exchange in comments. I like what you're doing over at your blog these days, so I'm down.
7 comments

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  1. Joe Speaker

    March 10, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    On the terrace: Soloflex. Loiw monthly payments!

    Fucking Swedes.

  1. Instant Tragedy

    March 10, 2009 at 2:01 PM

    Feel free to give us ideas:

    On the Terrace a big spotlight that has the symbol of the bracelet on it, telling all who dare ,to run and hide

    call me a fag: Nah, Elizabeth is too nice for someone to hurt her honey like that.

    or ask me for a link exchange in comments:

    Sure why not?

    Seriously, why not a large privacy fence so no one can see the clingons from the Chocolate Hostage Negotiations :-)

    IT

  1. Uncle Chuck

    March 10, 2009 at 3:28 PM

    Easy one: Grow Weed.

    Sell it or smoke it, either way it will pay for itself!

  1. Heather

    March 10, 2009 at 4:28 PM

    Locking mechanism for sliding doors: 2" dowel rods that fit in the track when the door is closed (so you hit the dowel rod instead of being able to open the door). Remove dowel rod to unlock door.

  1. Astin

    March 10, 2009 at 4:50 PM

    Terrace : Space for the junk.

    Doors: Cut a hole in the jamb, another in the door edge, and stick a latch in there. Of course, you'll need something on the door to lift the latch with... some sort of screw or switch.

  1. Mytgod

    March 10, 2009 at 5:12 PM

    Good ideas, people. Very McGuyver-like.

    And yes, my junk is excited at a space large enough to support full unraveling upon dirty monkey terrace sex.

  1. Rachelle

    May 6, 2009 at 8:47 PM

    well most US americans don't have maps...so....i can't believe you found your way.