Roadside Attractions

If you happened to miss the last post by Elizabeth, you ought to go read it. She does a great job embarrassing me by telling you all of the sweet little things I do.

Don't worry, though. I've since played some tackle football, lit a few things on fire, and drove around all weekend long without looking at directions. So I'm all man again.

We're now looking at six days until we pick up the Penske truck (Still amazed that it was considerably cheaper than a Uhaul) and begin loading that sucka up for a cross country journey. OK, so we're only going a couple states to the left. But it's still gonna take a good 12 hours of driving so it'll feel like the entire country. Get off our nuts.

I was kinda hoping to find some sweet attractions to stop at along the way. My first thought was the Biggest Ball of Twine, which Weird Al Yankovic taught me is unfortunately in Minnesota. So then I just set my google-fu free and here's what I found...

In Clearfield, PA we can try the 15lb burger.

Tom Mix's Outhouse in Driftwood, PA!

Earnest Angley's Cathedral Buffet and Life of Christ Display in Cuyahoga Falls, OH!

The Doodlebug Train Horror Monument, also in Cuyahoga Falls, OH!

Quaker Square in Akron where we can sleep in a grain silo!

And Finally, the Goodyear World of Rubber Museum in Akron!

I'm all about celebrating rubbers.

I'll be interested to see the BTC Display (Bracelet to Tractor Conversion) in the East wing. It's said that the amount of rubber it takes to comfortably cover my junk during safe intercourse is roughly equivalent to the amount it takes to make a Goodyear tractor tire.

We'll see.

At any rate it's an exciting week. I've got a lot of prep work to get done so that we can move directly to our new pad. I'm lucky in that I've been staying at a furnished place so the majority of my stuff is in a storage locker already. I could probably fit what I have here right now into my car. There will be a few things to take out of storage, which might be a minor pain in the ass, but at least I won't have to box much stuff.

I'll be using drug sample boxes for my gear and I hear Elizabeth will be using liquor boxes. The neighbors are going to look at us funny. But that's nothing. Just wait until they hear the monkey sex noises from the terrace.

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