When I Get My Way

When I get my way, things are going to be great!

There will be kegerators on each floor serving only the finest draughts money can buy. St. Pauli Girl posters will adorn at least one wall in every room. Green leather recliners will bring each room together, especially the dining room where six of them will replace the chairs of the dining room table.

Imagine a land where you can move through an entire house, from green leather recliner to green leather recliner, without ever touching the ground.

Excuse me while I get some tissue...

Instead of cleaning anything we'll just shove silica gel packs into whatever we're trying to keep fresh. Our sheets will be of the cotton jersey variety. Dirty dishes will be tossed out (after their prerequisite 2 week cool down period near the sink) and replaced with disposable containers whenever possible or brand new classy containers when the mood strikes us.

That's not even mentioning the room we'll have that has a trampoline for the floor. It'll also be tough fitting a pool table, dart board, poker table, neon bar sign, bean bag chair, four gaming systems, and my life size movie cutouts into our place but we'll make it work.


Elizabeth would have you believe I'm eager to create some sort of sports dungeon, outfitted with every possible type of collegiate male dormitory stereotype. Not true at all.

Take the green leather recliner, for instance.

We aren't talking about a chair that saw active duty in a frat house or some sort of eyesore. It's a quality (oversized to fit my gigantic frame - Hear that ladies?) chair that's built for comfort. While not the most artistically impressive chair, it is the perfect accoutrement to a man cave. No guy wants his friends squirming to find comfort in chairs from the Real World home while watching the Detroit Lions continue to set records for futility.

Plus, it shouldn't be going in any sort of main room. I get that. But in the man cave it's perfect. Not an eyesore, really comfortable, and the type of thing you need available for men to relax in.

Men who slaved all day (often putting in overtime) to bring home the bacon for their family. Rarely asking for much, we men give and give and give with little take. We just want a chair that cradles our tired and sore (muscular too, ladies!) body when we finally get home. Maybe a meal cooked for us that has the right seasoning for once and doesn't have a ratio of what we like to what we don't like of 1:9. And would it hurt to serve it in something sexy and keep the recliner's built in cooler stocked with beer?

Keeping a guy happy is pretty easy.

Vote Green Leather Recliner in 2008!

Posted in

  1. Irritable Male Syndrome

    May 1, 2008 at 9:44 AM

    Finally--a platform I can really get behind.

  1. Betty

    May 1, 2008 at 11:28 AM

    You might want to wear something from the Artsy Loftie Line whilst reclining in that chair.

  1. DrChako

    May 1, 2008 at 11:29 AM

    You've got my vote!


  1. Joe Speaker

    May 1, 2008 at 12:09 PM

    I dunno. That other chair is pretty stylish (I had to wait until you posted to make that remark). Then again you'd expect that sort of response from me.

    I'm still on your side. I suppose.

    No, I am. No wavering. Really.

    Where was that chair from again?

  1. Uncle Bracelet

    May 1, 2008 at 10:03 PM

    I only wear thongs to sleep or to the beach, Betty.

    Speaker, I know you like to gay it up with the fashion but you have to keep in mind how much easier it is to clean the leather of hair product shrapnel.

  1. lil bro

    May 1, 2008 at 11:15 PM

    My vote is cast. You had me at "My Way"!

    Green Leather Recliner, a candidate you can feel comfortable with.