I declare Shenanigans.

Yes, Shenanigans. I bet you weren't fully prepared for that, were you?

That's cool. I appreciate your naivety.

In fact, your naivety and unpreparedness are feelings I can get with. And I mean "get with" in the same way I've used it countless times while referring to sisters of friends, actresses, and the occasional fatty while drunk.

In other words, I'm going to admit that I'm completely unprepared and naive about this whole process. It's awkward. It's scary. And yet it's extremely exciting.

That being said, I'm not the hypocrite. She is. Like, totally. Way more than I am. let me explain.

So Elizabeth gives me her list. I already knew it for the most part, so I looked at places based on this criteria. I know she doesn't like the typical apartment complex thing. I'm cool with that.

So I look at old steel and cotton mills that have been turned into condos and apartments. I gather info on condo and townhome rentals. I pass by apartment complex after apartment complex. Until I get lost searching out a condo complex, and that's when I see a place that looks beautiful.

I pull in and make my way to the office. I steal a few cookies and wait to take the tour. Sure, it's an apartment complex, but it isn't typical. It's high end. It's in a really nice part of town. Lots of wide rows and new developments. Plenty of money around. The complex itself is designed like no other I've seen. I tour it and really like how it's set up when it comes to Captain Flexible's requirements.

Honestly, I looked at it solely from her point of view when it came to kitchen space and layout, closet and bathroom design, etc. I knew this wasn't perfect, but I figured it was a pretty solid option to consider in case things in the more hip communities somehow can't work out. Plus it had the benefit of location in a fancy part of town.

Now, before I left town Captain Flexible and I talked about a place she saw. A place that is admittedly in a less safe part of town, but is unbelievably cool. I saw pictures and it is. Her good friend who is in real estate in this town had told her that he believed that within a few years this area would be much better and that made it a solid investment.

She visited once, and exuded the desire to make that our place no matter what stood in our way. I spoke to my friend John, who has lived in town many years, as well as another friend K. Both told me that the area was not two years from becoming safe, and that it really wasn't a nice area to live. Living in a shit part of town is a definite veto from Uncle Bracelet.

So, keeping this in mind, I knew I owed it to her to visit the place and include it in our options, though I'll admit without reservation that I was already ranking it as a slim chance. In fact, I was probably audibly unexcited about it. From my point of view though, I wanted to make her happy by looking at her favorite place. I also know that nothing is ever concrete and you have to keep an open mind. So I knew I'd end up seeing the place during one of our future visits. Besides, we plan on renting right off the bat and these are for purchase.

I bring my materials I had gathered and show her some of the things. I pull out the folder of info from the apartment complex. She takes a look at the picture on the cover, which has a photo of part of the outside of one of the buildings, and she emphatically states, "No, this is ugly. I won't live there." And she tosses it aside.

(Or some such similar statement)

Even she'll admit it isn't ugly. But without huge windows on the outside of the building (and thinking of standard apartment complexes immediately) she wouldn't even consider it. And she wasn't willing to budge, which is the attitude which has helped me coin her Captain Flexible.

So she called me a hypocrite because I wanted her to at least check it out, while she felt I wasn't going to consider her favorite place.

Not true at all.

Double Fail.

(In your face, single Fail!)

She and I both have aspects of living which we are willing to put up with. One of my must haves is a nice area. I don't want to worry about break-ins if I don't have to. One of hers is aesthetics. I think both of us would agree about each other's opinions on living, at least for the most part.

However, I was willing to look at her place, despite mentally ranking it well behind other places, because it was important to her. She wasn't willing to even hear about my place, let alone view a floor plan or anything, yet she called ME a hypocrite!


She's lucky I sorta kinda maybe possibly really like her. Otherwise things could have gotten hairy, and I've already experienced the hairy lady thing and it wasn't cool at all.

Captain Flexible.

This, dear readers, is only the beginning. If I am to make this happen I will be risking much more than opinions on location and style. Yes, it is entirely possible that she would expect me to leave every single item of everything I own behind, maybe getting lucky enough to at least bring along 2 items of current clothing.

Coming soon? The battle of the Green Recliner and the Man Cave.
  1. Joe Speaker

    April 25, 2008 at 12:19 AM

    This is like the 7th greatest day of my life, finding this blog. Right behind #6, when I discovered the amazing things my wiener could do.

    Also, I will only be commenting on the "He said" posts.

    Man Cave solidarity, you know.

  1. donkeypuncher

    April 25, 2008 at 2:40 PM

    I'm going to start selling "TEAM UNCLE BRACELET" shirts.


  1. DrChako

    April 25, 2008 at 10:58 PM

    Go Team Bracelet!

    I'm totally wearing this shirt in Vegas. I hope it gets here in time.

  1. elizabeth

    April 26, 2008 at 1:14 AM

    this is totally unfair. where is the girl power? we cannot allow man cave solidarity.

  1. elp

    April 28, 2008 at 6:48 AM

    Sorry, mlp, but I side with your dude on this one. Obviously, he saw something there that he thought you might like, despite your criteria. By not even considering this place and dismissing it out of hand, you're telling him you don't care what he thinks. Frankly, it was tactless and disrespectful, and that's probably what he finds annoying. He doesn't care if in the end you don't want to live there, but at least entertain the idea he's not a total idiot when it comes to finding a place for you two to live.

  1. Falstaff

    April 30, 2008 at 1:19 PM

    no really, that part of town is sketchier than the ghetto I live in. Anyplace I wouldn't ride my bike after dark is not going to get that much better anytime soon.